Understanding the Five Trauma Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, and Flop

In my last post, I talked about what trauma really is and how it often shows up in ways people don't expect. One of the reasons understanding and defining trauma for yourself can be so confusing is because many of the ways we cope don't look like coping at all. For certain individuals, coping might look like personality traits, and you might think you're controlling or lazy or that you’re a perfectionist or a people-pleaser. You might even think something is wrong with you.

Some of those patterns are really survival responses. When our nervous system senses danger, it automatically tries to protect us. This happens whether the danger is physical, emotional, or psychological. Most people are familiar with fight, flight, and freeze; however, trauma specialists often recognize two other responses: fawn and flop (collapse). I will discuss each one in today’s post.

I. Fight

Most people are familiar with this trauma response. The fight response is exactly what it sounds like. When someone feels threatened, their nervous system prepares them to confront the danger. People with a strong fight response are often misunderstood as aggressive or difficult; however, their nervous system may be trying to protect them from feeling vulnerable or powerless. Fight might manifest in myriad ways, including some examples in the list below:

~ irritability

~ anger

~ defensiveness

~ arguing

~ a need to stay in control

~ becoming confrontational when feeling unsafe

II. Flight

The flight response, as you might have figured out, focuses on escaping a dangerous situation or one you perceive as such. Sometimes that means physically leaving a situation and other times it looks like staying constantly busy. Many high-achieving individuals operate from a flight response without realizing it. If staying busy feels safer than slowing down, your nervous system may be trying to outrun discomfort. Outrunning discomfort might look like:

~ overworking

~ perfectionism

~ difficulty concentrating or relaxing

~ feeling guilty when resting

~ constantly staying productive

~ always planning for the next thing

III. Freeze

The freeze response occurs when the nervous system believes fighting or escaping won't work, it slows everything down. Countless people judge themselves harshly for freezing instead of “doing something” in certain situations. That is normal. The truth is that freeze is not a weakness; it is a survival response. All kinds of animals in nature use it. For example, deer and raccoons tend to freeze when they sense danger. I’m sure you have heard the phrase “deer in headlights.” That’s one way the freeze response can show up. You might hear someone say, “My mind was racing, but my body wouldn’t respond.” Your nervous system is trying to keep you safe the best way it knows how, so you stop in your tracks as it tries to process what the next step will be. Some ways you might experience a freeze response are:

~ feeling stuck

~ difficulty making decisions

~ procrastination

~ emotional numbness

~ feeling disconnected

~ shutting down during conflict

IV. Fawn

The fawn response involves trying to stay safe by keeping others happy. This response is especially common in individuals who grew up in unpredictable environments or relationships. You might say something like, “Okay. I’ll do whatever you want,” so they can avoid harm in any way. People who fawn often become experts at taking care of others while neglecting themselves. Over time, they may lose touch with their own needs, preferences, and boundaries. This response might show up as:

~ people-pleasing

~ difficulty saying “no”

~ fear of disappointing others

~ avoiding conflict

~ prioritizing everyone else's needs

~ feeling responsible for other people's emotions

V. Flop

  The flop response is less commonly discussed, but a good number of people recognize it immediately once they hear about it. This response occurs when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed and essentially powers down. People often describe this as feeling like they “have shut down” or “can’t move." You might remember the phrase playing possum. Possums tend to play dead when they are in danger and that’s what comes to mind when I think of the flop response. The nervous system isn't choosing weakness. It is conserving energy after becoming overwhelmed. This might look like:

~ feeling numb

~ difficulty functioning after conflict

~ feeling helpless

~ wanting to hide from the world or isolating

~ lack of motivation

~ feeling emotionally or physically drained

Dr. Paula's Reflection

One of the most important things I want you to remember is this: These responses are not character flaws or simply personality traits. They are survival strategies that people use when something seems dangerous. The body will do what it needs to protect itself. Somewhere along the way, your nervous system learned that these responses increased the likelihood of you getting through a difficult situation. The problem is that survival strategies don't always disappear when the danger passes or ends. What once protected you may now be creating challenges in your relationships, work, mental state, sense of self, and daily life. Awareness of and understanding about these trauma responses are the first steps toward change.

When you understand why you respond the way you do, you can begin learning new ways to feel safe without relying solely on old survival patterns. As you read through these responses, you may have recognized yourself in more than one. That's completely normal. Most people don't fit neatly into a single category. You may fight in one situation, freeze in another, and flop, flee, or fawn in a completely different environment. When you understand your patterns, you can begin responding with greater compassion instead of criticism and that is often where healing begins.